2010 review

In the beginning of this year I had a feeling that it would be an amazing year. And it was. Not everything was perfect, of course, but I truly believe that those bad moments in time are even more important than the good ones, as we learn a lot from them.

So, let's start with all the negative stuff and leave the best for the end.

I've felt terribly this year.

I've lost a bit of my blind love for people as I've felt kind of (totally, in fact) betrayed.

I've lost important people I wish I could have kept in my life. 

I've been weak.

I've failed at preferring me and my interests over everyone else's.
I haven't trusted myself enough.

I definitely need to grow up and learn a lot...

STILL, I TRULY BELIEVE THIS YEAR WAS AWESOME BECAUSE:

I've felt so damn great this year!!

I've gone to a 3O SECONDS TO MARS concert alone!!

I've been (and still am) so happy about my marks in this new school year :D

I've told the right things to the right people a couple of times.

I've found a wonderful new home in the Algarve ;)

I've discovered the beauty of Muse songs.

I've lived unforgettable moments with people I love!

I've got much better at writing :D

I'm slowly learning how to be a calmer and more balanced person...

I'm not sure yet of what my feeling for 2011 is, but I hope it is, at least, as good as 2010. On one hand I'm kind of afraid that I'll fall off this state of happiness I'm in. That would be somewhat painful. On the other hand, I also know that I'll have better and worse moments in my life and, sometimes, there won't be much I can do to avoid that. I guess I'll just anxiously wait to see what's coming now.

yours,
millou

Shake up the happiness... It's Christmas time!! (by the way, that Coca Cola add is beautiful)

Hello!

Hope you had a Merry Christmas :D

I didn't post a Christmas message yesterday because I was too busy finishing and printing my short story... I loved writing it and my parents liked reading it as well, so I feel really, really happy. I'm thinking about participating in a FNAC contest (for short stories, this time) with it. I only have to enlarge it a bit.

About Christmas gifts... This year me and my family saved a bit on gifts. To be honest, none of us is a great fan of Christmas and we're all sick of this gift tradition, so we just bought the necessary.

What did I get? Hmm, a pair of BRAND NEW RED ALL-STAR :D Money, of course. Two books (one of them is Saramago's Blindness; the other one I saw in a 30STM newsletter), my perfume - Black XS, as always - and a calendar my mom made with animal photos taken by me. It was really amazing - and the only gift I wasn't expecting at all. I also received a pair of white gloves with a matching scarf :)

I'm now making truffles to give to my grandparents, who couldn't come yesterday to the Christmas dinner. And, no matter what you're thinking, I do know how to make truffles. They are absolutely lovely :D

yours,

millou

Well, the page about the 30 Seconds to Mars show in Lisbon is ready since a couple of days ago... (this is me trying to tell you "SEE IT AND COMMENT IT!") I've already received my photo with the band and... guess what? It does look good! I was expecting some closed eyes, hands in front of the face, ridiculous smile, ... But it didn't happen! I'm thinking about creating a poster with that photo or something like that. A big thing I can look at all day :P

I'm also writing a tale, which I plan to finish before Christmas (it's supposed to be a Christmas gift for my family, so I have this pressure to finish it). As you already know (if you read a couple of my posts), I have this small tendency to never finish what I start, specially when we're talking about writing. But this time I have a deadline to meet and maybe that'll help me to overcome that small tendency.

yours,

millou

Quick updates

Hello!

The 30 Seconds to Mars show was pretty awesome and I'm preparing a whole page with further details. I hope I can finish it tonight, but I can't promise anything.

I'm back to the Algarve :D
I'm now going to have dinner at the hotel.


yours,
millou

Don't tell anyone, but...

IT IS TOMORROW!!!

Hysteria

And I've experienced another online death... Incredible...!

Well, whatever. I can't change what is done. Now that I'm back, I just wanted to say:

I'M SO DAMN HAPPY BECAUSE 30STM CONCERT IS ON DEC. 16TH!!!!

I'm going on stage on Kings and Queens (YES, IT IS TRUE!! AND YES, I DO KNOW I'M THE LUCKIEST PERSON EVER!!) and I'm going to watch the show from the soundboard. Ah ah ah!! Oh, right, I forgot to mention that I'm going to meet the band before the show. We're not allowed to take any photos with the band, so they (read: the staff) are going to take photos for us. Hope they do it right -  and, most of all, hope to be able to make a pretty face at the first shot, which is almost impossible to me... Anyway, I still have time to practice :D

I promise to post photos, inside information and anything else I can :D

I'm so excited!!!

This is their third concert in Portugal and the second one I'm going to. This time they'll be playing songs from "This is War" - can't wait to listen to Closer to the Edge live!!! I'm sure it'll be awesome... :D

Mom's calling for dinner, I have to go.

yours,

millou

P.S - I have a new, wonderful hat. It's all black and terribly cute. It was bought for an interview I have to present in Portuguese (I'll play Álvaro de Campos, an heteronym of the portuguese poet Fernando Pessoa), but I've fallen in love with it. I think I'm going to take it to the concert.

Updates!

Hello there.

I know there's no excuse for my absence; still, I must say I've been very busy with Portuguese tests, a fictional interview I must present the following Friday, a project we (my 5-person-group) are developing at school and even some writing. I was able to write more than 3 pages (I could never do that during all these Summer holidays) and I would be terribly proud if I hadn't stopped at the middle of the short story... I'm planning to go back to it this weekend and I hope I'm stronger than the wish of starting a new one. I hate this.

School stuff, however is perfect. I've only invested my efforts in this but, at least, I'm getting results. It's nice to feel in control of things.

I'll post something deeper and more interesting as soon as I get enough mental availability ;)

yours,
millou

Meditation night

(A post from July 4 I've discovered on a portuguese blog of mine and translated for you)

After an emotionally full day, I'm meditating this evening. The house is asleep (except for dad) and I press the keyboard carefully, in order not to break the sacred silence. It is the perfect scenario.

I've concluded that all of us (me, you and everyone else) are asleep, sitting, walking slowly, at an average rhythm or running wildly in our lives. Metaphorically, of course. I've also concluded (not now, some time ago) that I switch from sleeping to sitting. No hurries. No passions. Just dreams and ideals. Nothing more.

If you believe in life after death, then you'll live forever and you'll ask yourself: "Why to worry with the present if I have the whole infinity waiting for me?". The answer is quite obvious: the infinity is nothing more than a (infinite) sequence of presents. What keeps you from doing something right now, will probably keep you from doing something every second of that infinity.
If you, just as me, don't believe in such things, then it looks kind of obvious that, if you have a life, you can only live it at its fullest. Do what you love. Run for your passions. Kill for your dreams. Everything else will be a crime: against you, against what you are, against what you could be. The murder of a star, the destruction of a unique master piece - your real "me". Unforgivable.

You were born unique. Be unique. Shine the way only you can do, light up the darkness and guide yourself. Just be. The rest will come for itself.

yours,

millou


P.S - A huge "Thank you" to Tomázia who convinced me that posting this was a good idea :D

Joie de vivre ;)

I'm so happy! 

I had a Maths test today and I'm quite optimistic about it, I have a new comment (thanks, Rita :D), I've found three amazing new songs (*), I've delivered inquiries at school for my Project (about how young people behave when they go out) and today I didn't rush out of home desperate not to miss the bus. I'm trying to make my mornings a bit more... peaceful. Running after the bus isn't exactly the best way to start your day - even though it never happened to me (in the morning, I mean...).

(*) These are the three amazing new songs (the last one has absolutely nothing to do with the other two):

Brandon Flowers - Only the Young

Hurts - Better than Love

My Chemical Romance - Na Na Na

yours,

millou

My most recent opinion about books

Is it just me or you also feel like you're not getting the most out of your life?

I feel like - and I've been told that a lot of times - I'm wasting my time on stupid things (like watching the same TV series for decades) and I miss the opportunity to do other things that would fulfill my spirit and my life, that would really amuse me or make me feel proud of myself - like reading.

I discovered today that it would be tremendously good for me to read much more - and during school time. I don't usually do that because I get addicted to books and stop studying at all, but I think it depends on the book - there are the softer ones, those that you like reading but don't involve you as much as, let's say, a crime story.

I think reading during school time is a great thing because:

1. It is soooo funny to live your life normally and then find yourself relating some episode you witnessed to the book you're reading. You really get the feeling of having an inner life, thoughts that are only yours. It's really great and it happened to me today on a Biology class (I've just finished a book related to the subject we're studying - Genetics); 
2. It is stupid that someone who aspires to be a writer (read: me) doesn't read as much as humanly possible. Books are the best source for ideas, techniques, everything that improves the style of writing, and it is truly ridiculous to forbid myself of reading during school time - and it gets even worse when I think I don't actually read that much on holidays.

I really should focus on what I want. Maybe reading more would help me with my chronic inability to finish every single story I start, who knows?

yours,
millou

Nice news :D

I presented a YouTube video today on my English class. It was good :D YEY!!

P.S - I know this is more of a Twitter thing than a Blogger thing but... I just had to share my enthusiasm with you :D

Bad day...

Do you know those days during which every single thing about the Universe has the power to annoy you and irritate you to death? Every detail about your life, about the others, about the world in general is awfully unbearable and you just feel like screaming and yelling at everything and everyone - all at the same time, until you blow up and get rid of this decrepit world's chains.

Today is one of those days...

Happy Halloween, people :D

Winter portrait

Winter is lovely!

You can simply feel yourself invaded by the warmth of the blankets, the fireplace, the arms of your boyfriend... and feel the contrast between your inner heat and the outer cold, whispered by the wind... It's priceless!
However, if you, just like me, adore to believe you're insane, there's also a wonderful and magnificent world of wilderness waiting for you on Winter... Dance in the rain. Go outside for a run in the middle of that terrible storm. Feel your hair soaping, the water invading all your pores... Feel the cold wind, the unstoppable rain... Connect with those forces of Nature. Just... feel Winter. In the end, those are the moments you'll want to replay. The ones when you're free and simply... you.

Amazing little breaks

This weekend I've escaped from the boring school routine and came to Algarve to cuddle at my second home. I'm kind of sick, so I feel I haven't enjoyed this weekend at it's most, but whatever. I still have many wonderful moments to remember :D

I think that traveling, in general, makes you look at your routine and your life from another perspective. Little things on people's brain have to change when they experience new things, see new places and meet new people, non?
There's also the boredom-breaking part, obviously. Taking only two days off can make you feel completely fresh and ready to restart. It all depends on how you spend them...
I know I've spent mine wisely. There's simply an inner comfort as I leave this place that proves nothing can be wrong. It's just like... home! I can only think of that word to describe it... ;)

Well, my brain cells are too sleepy and unfocused to write much more than this, so... I guess that's it.

yours,
millou

If it is not too absurd to post about one's inability to post, I'll tell you I'm preparing a post about feeling at home, comfortable and accepted, and it isn't going very well (maybe because I'm still too attached to the subject and all those emotions are kind of disturbing my writing. Or maybe just because it's a bad writing day). The truth is that I'm not comfortable enough writing it, it's requiring too much effort. Obviously, posting requires some effort... but I think that, if it is too planned and words are chosen too carefully, it looses it's harmony and flow.

So... I'll just wait until I'm ready to write it and then, obviously, I'll share it with you :D

(If you thought it was too absurd to post about one's inability to post, my apologies...)

Adorable little quote I've just found

Can we «cry» in a foreign language?

Hi!

Today I'm exposing my inner self to the influences of my English book's texts and meditate a bit on something José Saramago (Portuguese Nobel Prize winner who died this Summer) said: that Portuguese people could do business in English, surf the net in English, watch movies in English, but that "we cry in Portuguese".

Is it really true? Isn't it possible to adopt something from the outside (not only a language but a belief, a teaching, anything) and make it 100% our own? Or is it impossible to change who we are at such a deep level?

Comments and suggestions are accepted. This time I'm looking for a debate, not a monologue.

First weekend of the school year - school updates

Hey!

The 12th grade looks like what I expected of it. We don't spend as much time at school as we did the last two years, our schedule is wonderful (yup, three free afternoons and one free morning :D) and there is another feeling in the air. Sometimes classes look lighter and softer (probably because we were given the opportunity to choose two of our subjects and, therefore, eliminated the ones we truly hated - in my case Philosophy and Physics) but, once you take a closer look, you realize that's not exactly true - the few and pleasant classes we do have are, at their most, quite hard and require a lot of work. However, when you like what you're doing, everything becomes a lot easier.

In the overall, I think I can say I'm pretty happy with the school year that's just begun. There were some losses here and there, but the final result has to be positive.

I wish to those of you who are students a wonderful beginning of another year ;)

yours,

millou

Today

So much happening today!

My amazing first day of school this year, the VMAs, Jared Leto on TT on Twitter :D

We really live in a complex world...

Hope you had a day as great as mine. Or better.

I don't have much of a mental availability to write something deep and interesting, so let's stick with the essential and superfluous...

yours,

millou

One of my greatest anguishes as a blogger...

...is that MOST OF THE PEOPLE DON'T RATE NOR COMMENT my (not that) wonderful, amazing, adorable posts. You don't even need to write anything, selecting «interesting», «funny», «boring» or «TERRIBLE!» would be enough for me...

Please... It is frustrating to write something and know nothing about people's reaction to it. You know I adore you all, but you're killing me with this...
Seriously, guys!

Human losses (the 9/11-related one)

As I am inspired and thought of the 9/11 while writing my previous post, I would like to leave some kind of tribute to the victims of the terrorist attack to the World Trade Center, as I think it was an unnecessary act that lead to the loss of many human lives.

A human life is always a human life, with all the potential it means. How to know which ones of us will change the future? Which woman will be the mother, grandmother, aunt or whatever of some crazy scientist that will build us houses on the moon? Which man is going to donate his money to some institution and help finding the cure for cancer? Human lives are human lives - for better and worse.
We may think some of them are better than others, but, in generic terms, they are not. The truly good, inspiring humans have no boundaries or limits set for themselves - they are just alive, therefor able to fulfill their dreams. We shouldn't take that away from them just like that.

yours,
millou

Human losses (not 9/11-related)

People, as everything else in our lives, come and go - and there's not much we can do about it. We all have lost someone, even if it's only one friend. And I don't mean only the beloved ones who die. I mean everyone that was a part of our life and was somewhere left behind.

There are always human losses in the course of a lifetime but... we accept it. People have their lives, their dreams, their goals and their attitudes - we have ours. There aren't fairytales with the «happily ever after» end (and that makes me wonder of what could possibly be the secret for a truly happy marriage...) - only a longer or shorter moment in time where the meeting of two different human beings was something so beautiful and astonishing for both that they wish they could have frozen time and space right there and replay it eternally. And people know it. They know passion usually dies, they know there are reasons not to believe in love, they know they never should say never... And I'm glad no one takes it too seriously!

Just to finish, the world is a changing place - it's not only industry and technology that've changed through the course of History, but also humans themselves changing through the course of their lives. It is called growing up, evolving into something better - and, believe me, it IS a good thing, no matter how much it may hurt.

Nothing is certain and eternal around here, so, either people change together or change separates what seconds ago seemed so firmly hold by something that, in the end, was as ephemeral as ourselves.

Post dedicated to the wonderful someone(s) I've lost through my life. You are missed.

yours,
millou

Like my new blog design?

I've changed my blog's design yesterday... For those of you who have met millou's with a black background: do you like the changes I've made?

Vera Mesmer

Guess my previous post wasn't my last one on holidays. I came here to tell you about a band I've discovered this Summer - Vera Mesmer.

I honestly think they're great. They have developed a style of their own, that I had never seen on any other artists before them. Take a close look and you'll see the complexity of their art. I think it's just beautiful. Unique. Amazing!

This unique style I talk about is also reflected on their music. The lyrics are deep and sentimental without being depressive and the sound is certainly sophisticated (you wouldn't expect any other thing after looking at their photo, right?), mixing guitars with pianos, violins (I think there are actually violins somewhere in "You and I"... Or am I hallucinating?) and obviously many more instruments that my awful hearing can't catch. I leave you with another photo and some links that I strongly suggest you follow for more info about Vera Mesmer.

Click to listen to their songs on myspace.

Click to visit Vera Mesmer webpage.

Click to visit Vera Mesmer on Twitter.

Preparing the new school year...

Hey there, bloggers! This may very well be my last post on holidays...
If, some weeks ago, I had any doubt about it, I'm now sure that I wish I could have two to three more weeks for myself before school starts. However, now that I feel it starting (I've started studying, I already know what my class is, ...), I'm kind of happy to return to this routine. Well, this year will be a lot different on what comes to my independence (yes, that's one of the reasons why I wrote this post), but it's still a school year. Still the tests (and the exams...!), still the classes, the books, the backpacks, the late works, finished on the night before delivery... Still the lunch breaks under the sunlight. Still the crap cafeteria food. Still the bureaucracies. The slow, inefficient employees. Still the screams of the teachers. The crowded girls restroom. The beloved friends. Still the nerds, the goths, the geeks, and the ditchers. Still and always school.
In good times and in bad, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until college do us part.

yours,
millou

On vacation

I've been coming and going from home to Algarve these last weeks at an amazing pace. Two, three days in Algarve and four, five days at home. It has been an insane month, but I'm glad it's that way. It can't be always the same during almost three months, right?
I stayed at a hotel with an amazing view - you can see it in the image above. It was a bit (a LOT) hot there, but we survived it. Air conditioners are lovely...
Now that I'm back to the cold, heartless city, I think I miss the Algarve. The heat is completely unnecessary, but there was a calm, peace, tranquility there that's hard to find here. It may be anything but a comfortable place - it's hot, dry and a little bit lifeless (ok, there are bugs, which isn't exactly a plus) - but it comforts me. I know, if I lived there I wouldn't say the same thing. That makes me jump to the conclusion - the best would be spending some peaceful days there, just as I've been doing these last weeks, with little breaks to come back to the city and its sophistication (which I know I would miss if I spent more than five days there at the countryside).

yours,
(the relaxed) millou

Love independece :)

I've heard several times lovely people saying the most absurd of all sentences - «I don't want to grow up».
Oh, you don't? You want to be a child forever, then?
To live with your parents forever, to obey, and, instead of shouting «I'm 18, I can do whatever I want!», to control your anger, because, even though you're 18, you're still a child?
To never feel you are auto-sufficient and can live alone in some place? Your place?
To have to tidy up your bedroom instead of leaving the bed exactly as it was when you woke up?
To never know you did it by yourself and feel proud about it? To never feel it as a reward of your own efforts?
To be always... comfortably spoiled?
To never feel... independent? And, most of all, to never love paying the price of independence, because you know what you're paying for and it looks kind of cheap?

Please don't tell me you don't want to grow up. PLEASE.
It can be insulting to some people (me included).

yours,
millou

I finally admit I'm not organized!

Hey!

I've been cleaning and re-organizing my bedroom all day, which was kind of a long, complicated task. Well, I've survived the day and only need to tidy up a part of my wardrobe. The worst part, obviously...

If you knew how much trash I had in this bedroom! Old diaries, little awful boxes, disgusting clothes, ridiculous books... It is my bedroom! How can I survive surrounded by such garbage piled up in my own bedroom!! This is the place where I sleep, listen to music, often study, sometimes eat... I live here! Have my computer here. Have all I need right here. I just needed a fridge to survive without ever leaving this place :D

I hate to admit it, but I am NOT an organized person... No organized person could ever need A DAY to get some space for her new binders!

But... all of that is the past! Now the room is clean and organized, and it is adorable to look at free spaces on the shelves, desk and whatever. My next task is to remove my 30 Seconds to Mars posters (which are literally falling off the walls) and replace them by something pretty. 30STM related or not. I'm not sure yet.

yours,

(the chaotic) millou

Introspective evening

The last days have been quite meditative for me, and I wanted to share with you just a little thing I've noticed about people (in fact, about me, but I don't think it is a rare phenomenon) - we see so clearly what others should do, how others should act and behave, but when we're involved, everything gets much more confusing.

I think we're afraid of realizing we're not as good as we like to think we are. We want to keep that mask of perfection and are afraid of taking a deep, closer look, that would show off its numerous flaws. It is the easiest thing to do - at least at that moment - but it's not the best option. Reality doesn't leave just because we look away and not wanting to face it only makes things worse - you have to know what you are if you want to get any better.

yours,

millou

30 Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge

Hi there :D

I wanted to share with you a video that you have probably already seen - but I really have to mention it, because it is absolutely amazing. It is the video clip of Closer to the Edge, by 30 Seconds to Mars, my eternally beloved band :)
This song is from their last album, This is War, and has (like the whole album) an amazing, contagious power and energy.

Visit this web page for more info about 30STM :D

There you have: 30 Seconds to Mars - Closer to the Edge. Lyrics below. Enjoy!!

Lyrics:
I remember one moment, I tried to forget
I lost myself, is it better not said
Now I'm closer to the edge

It was a thousand to one
And a million to two
Time to go down in flames and I'm taking you
Closer to the edge

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
NO NO NO NO

Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free
The birth of a song and the death of a dream
Closer to the edge

This never ending story
Paid for with pride and fate
We all fall short of glory
LOST IN OURSELVES

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
NO NO NO NO

NO NO NO NO
I will never forget
NO NO
I will never regret
NO NO
I WILL LIVE MY LIFE
(x2)

No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
No, I'm not saying I'm sorry
One day maybe we'll meet again
NO NO NO NO
(x2)

Closer to the edge
Closer to the edge
NO NO NO NO
(x2)

Closer to the edge

Funerals and last words

Assuming we don't believe in after death life, we can say funerals don't really mean anything to the dead ones, only to the ones who still live and care for them. However, I suppose everyone has a wish about the future of their body after they're gone.
I've been listening to a song I've discovered via Twitter (a crap song, but who cares...?) that said something like "If I die young burn me at dawn and send me away with the words of a love song". I, as all teens, usually think of my death as an event taking place in dozens of years, and rarely think "If I died tomorrow, how would I spend this day?" or "What would my perfect funeral be like?".

So, if I die before I change my mind, here are my instructions:
Burn me and spread my ashes in the wind, at dawn, on a green meadow with no trees, and play Muse's Starlight REALLY loud. :D

That would be my definition of the perfect funeral.
About the way I would spend my last day... That's up to me to find out and put into practice. Those words that really have to be said to that special someone, that dream hunting you since your were old enough to think, that kind of stuff we all know and none (pardon, very few) of us really does while living.

yours,
millou

P.S - No, I was NOT diagnosed with cancer. Don't worry :P

"Courage is doing what you're afraid to do. There can be no courage unless you're scared"

Eddie Rickenbacker

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

It was only yesterday I finally saw Eclipse!

I think I liked it. It focuses Bella's division between Edward and Jacob, but not with that dramatic and disgusting tone of New Moon - no suicide attempts, no adrenaline rushes, just her pure feelings. In both Twilight and New Moon I HATED Jacob! He's there only to disturb Bella and Edward's peaceful love...! Now, after watching Eclipse, I somehow understand him. He likes Bella and she makes him hope for something in New Moon (stupid girl, damn!) - it's only natural that he fights for it.

About Bella... Hmm, I must say I hate that girl since the beginning. She has that suffering look that always annoys me to death. She is with the guy she loves, and he loves her back! Why on Earth isn't she jumping of joy?? Incomprehensible.

However, considering that final speech in Eclipse (in which she admits she never felt like she belonged somewhere before meeting the Cullens and the vampire world) I have to like her a little bit more. That speech is, in my opinion, the best of the Twilight Saga essence: the meeting of two people who are completely out of that insane human world.

There's still Edward Cullen to talk about... He is, predictably, my favorite character since the very beginning (and my second favorite would be Alice - and third Carlisle or Emmet, not sure). I mean, he's so cute, deep, disturbed, odd... He's a perfect tormented vampire.

The Cullens are also adorable. I love all that eccentricity of being a vampire - the baseball games, the hunts, Alice's visions, Edward's mind-reading powers... They are the perfect family. All so interesting (ok, except Rosalie), all so united but, still, all so individual and unique. Love the Cullens!

Just to finish... I must say this whole Twilight Saga thing is, sometimes, taken too far. New Moon was completely unnecessary and ridiculous, focusing not the good part of the story (as I previously said, the vampire world and it's differences from human world), but the cheap and theatrical drama in the Edward-Bella-Jacob situation. Also, I believe that there was no need for much more than just Twilight. When you insist too much in something, no matter how good it is, it always ends up becoming monotonous. The story should have been made to be shorter. Keeping the intrigues and vampire/wolf details, of course, but shorter.

yours,

millou

Chips psycology

I had an epiphany today, in the middle of a conversation involving chips. Just read it carefully, it may actually make some sense...

So, a family goes shopping - they buy some chips. They all want to eat them; but no one wants to be the first to do it. No one wants to show the inability to resist the golden temptation. They prefer to wait until someone else makes the first move, and then... attack!

We could simply forget that we're not supposed to eat chips and, well, do it with a peaceful conscience. But we don't. We feel guilty for being human, for desiring what we shouldn't desire. We want to eat those chips - but we know we shouldn't. However, we do it anyway. But, instead of admitting we can't resist temptation, we try to manage some scheme to save our appearances - we wait for the others to do the first move. That way we won't look as bad as if we were the first ones to eat those chips.

People fake. People pretend. And, most of all, people fake and people pretend to THEMSELVES. That's worse than lying - that's self-delusion. Lying to yourself.

My advice (and, by that, I mean: my self goal) is - if you want the chips, eat them. Admit it, face who you are - a greedy beast who, like everyone on Earth, just loooooves chips!

Post dedicated to all the hypocrites around the world (myself included)

yours,
millou

Perfect news :D

I was so excited that I first wrote this post in Portuguese :D Anyway, I've translated it, don't worry, beloved readers.

Who?
30 Seconds to Mars.

When?
December 16.

Where?
Lisbon.

What?
A show. A live performance. Something... perfect.

The exact details of «where» remain unknown, but... it's in Lisbon, and that's all I need to know for now :D
Well, I hope to see you there, dear and beloved bloggers...!!


Oh... and if you want to know more about the band visit this link or, if you want to stare at Jared Leto's beauty, visit this one. Enjoy and take care.

yours,
millou

Self-motivating post

Hi!
I'm hysterically on holidays since Tuesday afternoon and I haven't decided yet all I want to do with these two months (fine, almost three).

Up to this point, my plans involve:

• writing something (which I'm already doing) and FINISHING IT
• blogging as much as I can :D
• learning something, anything (I don't know exactly what yet - and I have to, otherwise I'll learn nothing)
• earning some money by myself (I also don't know exactly how)
• gaining independence. By that I mean being able to do things by my own, which does not happen at all.

The ideas aren't clear in my mind yet, which is worrying. If I'm chasing a cloud of undefined goals, this will be nothing more than another wasted Summer. And IT CAN'T BE!! I will set clearer goals, chase them at all costs and, specially, I won't get bored! I do not believe in after-death life, so this precise second is special, unique, and will never come back. I better spend all my seconds doing what I want the most, what I adore the most, whatever it is.

yours,
millou

EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!
I'm technically on HOLIDAYS from this day on :D
YEY!!!

Inspirations

(also in portuguese here)

We live in a beautiful world.
Interesting text about the impact of attitude on people's happiness. Although this text presents a very «wonderland» conception of the world (and, in my opinion, hard work and effort are needed), it definitely talks about an important ingredient to achieve happiness. The happiness created by this attitude is, obviously, superficial, but it doesn't make it irrelevant. We just need to do a bit more than that to feel complete and proud of ourselves. Then yes, we get true happiness! (I guess...)

Here's a bit:

We live in a beautiful world.

Look around you, it is amazing. Skyscrapers, gravity, daisies, peaches, archipelagos, children, languages, music, wars, phosphorous, galaxies, snow, literature, human existence.

We live in such a breathtaking environment that is full of magic and wonder. Although we can feel intense sadness, profound happiness can be just around the corner. One step away. One thought away. One kiss away. Sources for joy are literally everywhere, one just has to overlook all of the negative things trying to cover them up.

The world conspires for you to be happy, not unhappy. It is all a matter of perspective, of stepping back and taking a good look at the world around you. How can you ever be bored, depressed, frustrated, annoyed or jealous in a world of such infinite possibility?

Follow the link at the beggining of the post to see the whole text.
Enjoy!

yours,
millou

Updates ;)

Hello, endlessly adorable bloggers!!
Two pieces of news: I've discovered I adore Muse's lead singer Matthew Bellamy AND (a little bit more important...) I'll have a Biology/Geology exam tomorrow!
The marks for this term were way better than what I expected and I am pretty happy with that :D
My only worry right now is the exam. The examS, I must say. I'll have two - Physics and Chemistry is in a week.
Let's see how it goes...

yours,
millou

WONDERFUL NEWS!

Just look what I've got for you...
Closer to the Edge: The film - click here to watch!!

Hi again!

Hello, people.
These new blog designs are amazing, aren't they?!
Well, I've experienced another online death, but here I am now. I don't have much to tell you, I'm afraid... Next week the exams start - the first one is Biology and Geology on Thursday, then Physics and Chemistry on 22nd June.
I'm now sixteen...! These 9 days after my birthday have been terribly strange, with lots of self re-definition, meditation, inner inspection, and no parties... Nothing of what I expected, I'm afraid. Honestly, all this «I'm sixteen!» thing is somewhat absurd. People don't get older because 16 years ago they were born. People get older because they mess up, they fix it, they don't fix it and mess up again, they watch others mess up, they live, they feel and they think. That's life and that's the only way of getting older.
Well, this is the theory. Obviously I got excited about being sixteen because it was an excuse to celebrate. It was a stupid celebration, but still a celebration, and who doesn't like it?

Today I considered creating a new blog. In portuguese... :( I don't think sharing random facts of my life is enough. I feel a need of something creative, new, fresh, inspiring, revolutionary, demanding, that's right, but which could give me pride of myself, true joy and inner peace.
Yes, maybe it is a silly wish, but I think I'll try it.

I leave you with a beautiful song from Muse. I hated it the first time I listened to it and all this immense adoration only stroke me at the third time. Hope you like it.

Muse - Bliss

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage"
Lao Tzu

The war is coming!

Hi!!
I've just found out that 30 Seconds to Mars are about to release the short film This is War!!!
:D
I can't wait for it...
Take a look at the teaser right here.

Hello, lovely bloggers!
Since last Friday I feel this urge to change my whole life, make a few arrangements and LIVE, damn it, JUST LIVE!!
I can't stand this routine. I know I talked about this some time ago, but still, ... it's the damned routine that's killing me. I want to feel alive, get out of this immense sea of inactivity, struggle against the forces pulling me down, making me drown in the darkness of laziness. Not only do I want to keep myself afloat, but also NEED, DESPERATELY NEED to walk on water, rise above these irrelevances and re-discover my inner peace.

yours,
millou

MUSIC!

Have you ever felt the sun shines brighter when you listen to that song? That one lovely, perfect, brilliant song, that turns into wonderful and unreal sounds the feeling of euphoric happiness...?

I felt that a few moments ago when listening to this song from Jónsi, the vocalist of Sigur Rós:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=21UtO4JXbq4

yours as ever,
millou

The Legendary Tiger Man

Hey!!
Yesterday, after dinner, I discovered an amazing Portuguese artist (he sings in English, however) - The Legendary Tiger Man. I'm not sure if he's internationally known, but, just in case, there you have two of my favorite Tiger Man's songs. I don't know why, but his voice reminds me of David Fonseca (also a great musician).

THESE BOOTS ARE MADE FOR WALKING

LIFE AIN'T ENOUGH FOR YOU

Last holiday hours

Hey! This is my last day on holidays. I'm not sure if I wish I could live like this for one more week or if I've had enough of it and now feel ready to work hard. In this term I want to give my very best, as I never did before. I want to finish this year knowing I couldn't do any better, at least in this last term. I want to feel I've set a goal for myself and I achieved it. I want to know what it's like to feel you have done it.
Prepare yourselves... Millou will be released in a few hours!
:D

yours,
millou

millou @ twitter!!

Yes, your boring, self-centered, irresistibly unable to shut up, adorably annoying, forever loved and cherished (and, apparently, extremely convinced) blogger - read: ME - now USES TWITTER!!

Please take a look, create an account, follow and let me follow you:

http://twitter.com/twittingmillou

yours,
millou


PS: If I were you, I wouldn't expect much more than those usual (in me) updates of my interesting life. I may be joking, but you guys actually read this, which is kind of incomprehensible... Well, I read blogs like mine as well, so... I think it's a blogger thing, to never appreciate one's own blog. Maybe you think the same about your (oh, so) lovely blogs, who knows?

Happy Easter!

Although I'm not a Christian, I wish you all an Happy Easter, my beloved readers :D

Holidays!!

I'm on holidays from this day on!
My plans seem to have faded since last weekend, but I don't care. I'll kind of force myself to do what I want to do. It sounds strange, but it won't work in any other way. If I don't want these two weeks to pass on without having done anything of what I wanted to do, my only choice is to fight my laziness :D

yours,
millou

One week left!!

Hello!!
I'm almost on holidays, which is always wonderful. I'm sick of this routine and full of huge plans for these two weeks without compromises - plans which I expect to follow, though it isn't usual in me.
My first and most important project is to begin to think about a story for a book I expect to write for a FNAC contest. The best book gets published. I know I won't win, but I'll still participate anyway. Why not taking my favourite hobbie a little further?
Beside that, I want to practice dancing (I've discovered, yesterday, at a party, the wonders of tecktonik dance), do some jogging or whatever to get thinner and healthier, and, unfortunately, still have to study a few things.
There you have the extremely interesting plans for my holidays!

yours,
millou

P.S: 30 Seconds to Mars are expected on Optimus Alive, here in Portugal!! :D
(not confirmed yet)

This is one of those days (actually, it's the first time I feel this, but ok) I feel like leaving the comfort of my random life and just go somewhere, with someone, led only by the deep wish of a completely different experience. I'm sick of this monotony. The same routine, the same activities all day, every day, this is driving me insane!!
I'll now try to calm myself down.

yours,
millou

Pure hapiness

Hello, international community of bloggers!!
Today I consider myself as an happy person. Why? No special reason, to be honest.
I'm just enjoying the simple fact of being alive :D When I'm happy it's usually the same feeling: a deep and immense love towards the world. Isn't it beautiful? To be in harmony with ourselves and the others, to enjoy every breath of life, every second of our existence as deeply as humanly possible? Of course it is! Who doesn't like these moments of inner peace, which compensate in one second all the violence, stress, misery and unhappiness of a life-time, which bring together the pieces of a broken soul? Please, look around and ask yourselves this: isn't my life wonderful? You'll see you have something, at least one thing, holding you when you fall.

yours faithfully,
millou

Feeling of the day

Don't ever worry.

Life is too important for you to worry about it.

And, if you are, just as me, a person with an annoying tendency to worry about everything, all the time, just think that, if it really makes you happy, it's not a problem to worry about something. Things are NEVER a problem. We are the ones who create them. Ok, your boyfriend left you. If he did that, then he's an idiot and you should be glad you got rid of him. Your marks suck, ok, that's a wonderful chance to change something about your lifestyle, your method, your concentration. You are an horrible person (no one is ever THAT horrible) - that's great as long as you see it as an opportunity to reborn and redesign yourself entirely. You only have to relax and look at the problems with the right attitude. This world is yours, RULE IT!

Hi!!!

Terrible cold around here, but I'm alive!!!
By the way, I'm sorry for this huge period of laziness, in which I haven't wrote a thing here.
Well, I have been busy wasting my holidays and really don't have anything to tell you, people, except this little fact: I've been writing this kind of tale about a girl and her bodyguard. It's not finished yet, and I seriously doubt it will ever be, but I love the first part of the first paragraph. I'm just proud of it (yes, I know I could be more modest...).
Well, in the overall I feel pretty happy, despite the test I'm going to do after tomorrow and for which I haven't studied much yet :S
Can't come up with any other stupid issue to talk about, so I guess that's it ;)

yours,
millou


PS : I love you.

Kidding :P
The PS is : Listen to Night of the Hunter, by Thirty Seconds to Mars. It's just beautiful.

Hey!!!
It has been sunny here in Lisbon, and I'm extremely happy.
I was supposed to be studying for a Maths test that all the 11th grade students in Portugal who study Maths at high school (yes, it includes me) will have tomorrow. Instead, I'm lying on the couch, writing this while I'm hearing my neighbour (of my exact age - 15) playing with his motto (is this how it's spelled??) at the garage and listening to the MTVs, as usual (by the way, I hate Florence and the Machine).
Anyway, I'm well prepared for this test (I think), and need to have some rest because I'm starting feeling ill (what a wonderful time to be sick, hã...), so I mustn't feel guilty for being here doing nothing.
yours,
millou

Hey!!
I've been seriously (what's serious to me may be pathetic to you) busy these days. This week will be awful, full of hateful and complicated tests, and so on.
Still, I've been thinking about my life (while trying to fall asleep, activity which, by the way, usually takes an hour or two), and came to the conclusion I'm too childish. I'm starting (only now, after 15 years of a useless life) to worry about things and people, try to be (more) perfect, well, have a plan for my life. I'm really willing to change this about myself (not sure of the spelling here, you know my English isn't exactly the best... :P), and I like to think I will make it. However, I'm not exactly sure. I can never do anything, why should it be different this time? Well, I guess I'll have to do it slowly, trying to reach perfection at every second of my life.
My grandfather died on Monday. I wasn't very close to him, but going to a funeral for the first time and understanding that those things happen, that people actually die, kind of gave me some inner strength to live while I'm alive.

kisses, and wish you all a happier weekend than mine will be :D
millou

Do you know what I've just discovered?
Me and Muse are soul-mates!
I see them as 30STM talking about love (and I love to talk about love). That's something that has always somewhat annoyed me in 30STM - they have an opinion, a philosophy, a plan, about everything except emotions. They are too rational, Muse have the same ferocity but sing mostly about emotions, specially love.
But don't get me wrong - I love 30 Seconds to Mars! Just found out that I also love Muse...


P.S: I've only been talking about songs in the last days because I haven't done anything else beside listening to the MTVs and study. As I don't plan to explain you Darwin's theory about the evolution of the species, natural selection, and so on, I'm just posting my thoughts about the music I've been listening to.

Developing my artistic sense (still)

I'm listening to the MTVs, fact that explains this attack of quotes from the lyrics of lovely songs.

«It wasn't complicated,
wasn't pre-meditated,
to you I'm dedicated
let's go ahead and say it

I LOVE YOU»

Cheryl Cole's Three Words

My first demonstration of what can be called (extremely) elementar ARTISTIC SENSE

«I still believe
it's you and me 'till the end of time»

Biffy Clyro's Many of Horror

Back!!

After a HUUUUGE period of online death, I AM BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And I've changed a bit, as expected.

(Just a curiosity - I haven't done, in my entire summer holidays, what I've told myself to do... My self-discipline is wonderful...)

So, after all this time, here I am, again, back to my blogs... I've been really happy during this period, the summer holidays could have been better (I had a surgery), but... well, the first period of classes has been SO GOOD that I can't even remember the months of July and August :D
I feel happy, loved, important, and, most of all, I feel I'm at home. That's something I almost never feel. I'm always somewhere, lost, trying to find my way, and now I feel a comfort that's completely new for me.

And, about me, myself, my fantastic (bah!) person, what can I say?
I haven't changed that much, but the comfort I was talking about makes me much more relaxed and expansive. I haven't changed YET. Yes, I'm planning a revolution in my life, my personality, in every little detail about me. Of course I want to keep some good things, but... I don't know.... Let me be honest with you, beloved bloggers - I feel empty. I do nothing in my life!! No worries, no stress, no great goals, nothing. It's somewhat boring to live like this, so I want to become more alive, do more stuff (stuff that I want and stuff that I have to do, both is needed), have more fun, if you understand me. And I think I'm slowly becoming like that. SLOWLY. I wish it were faster...!!

I'm now going to dedicate my time to change some things about my blog (and yes, I still like that electric blue).

kisses,
millou